Laffing Horse Diary III

By now everyone who has a knitting needle or afghan crochet hook from me knows that I like to put beads on them. I like to use glass when I can (although I've got a WONDERFUL set of custom pottery beads that just came in from Sanborn Designs). Finally, I like the glass beads to be pretty and unique. I found the end-all, bee-all of beads this last Spring. You may remember me writing about Tom and Sage Holland the bead-makers.

We had a visit from Sage today and she mentioned in passing that she's giving another class locally. I wanted to let everyone out there know about this class because I don't have time to make the beads for my stuff and need more quality beadmakers out there to sell to me. Go take this class!

We were sitting around a table, in the shade, sipping tea with our new found friends. They are building a cordwood house and we had volunteered to stop by and distract them. When not building a house, he is a classically trained chef and self-taught geek from the UK and she is a masseuse and organic gardener.

In the conspicuous silence of a distinct lack of work, I am asked what I do.

I gave the usual spiel... looms, crochet hooks, knitting needles...

His face lights up. "I could really use a knitting needle!"

"They usually come in pairs," says I. "What size do you need?"

"Oh, something that would make a mesh about 3 inches or so."

"That's awful open for lace, but I guess I could make you a set of, what, 16s?"

"I don't need a set. I'm going to be making knitting."

"Right... OK, what length?" I query. I'm beginning to get confused.

"I don't know," he replies, starting to look confused himself. "Whatever size might be used for a 3" mesh," he repeats.

"What type of bead would you like? I use mostly glass or semi-precious stone."

"They have beads?"

In my memory, this went on for several minutes. It was beginning to sound like an Abbot and Costello routine and I so wanted to yell "First base!" when Jeanette leaned over and said, quite clearly, without accent "netting."

I'd never made a netting needle, and I told him so. I also said I'd see what I could do.

Back at home, I did a little bit of research and a little bit of woodcarving, and voila!

As with everything that I make, as soon as I'm happy enough to show it to Jen, she snaps a pictures and runs off to put it in the store. They're there now.

I've made and sold about 5 of them now (I gave the first one away to our friend)... lessee... something from a bizarre conversation... Yep! That's a net gain!

I wanted to do something nice for a couple of my customers that have been so very patient as I got bogged down and backed up. One of these customers has purchased, I think, just about one of everything I make... so sending something I make was out of the question.

Unless I start making something else!

But what don't I already make? Well, jack looms and spinning wheels - eventually, but... let me rephrase that... what don't I already make that would be quick and easy and not delay their products any longer and would be useful?

For inspiration I turned, as I so often do, to a favorite view of mine... watching Jeanette work on her loom. You thought maybe a pastoral scene of sheep in the Alps with Heidi bounding down to hill to Grandfather's place? Ha! As I watched her weave I saw that some times she would just reverse her hook and smack the strands of yarn into place... that's how I do it when I weave. On occasion, though, she would stop, grab a packing fork (and thinking about it now I've actually seen her use a fork fork) and make everything nice and even.

Hmmm....

Introducing Little Feat... er, Little Feet... um, am I going to get sued by a rock-n-roll band for this?

Little Feet, then:

In a move that I think makes these particular Little Feet even more wonderfuller, I used natural aromatic cedar from the Foxbriar Farm (where we make an excellent cappuccino, thank you very much!) which I felled, cut, aged, cut again and finished. Of course, now that I've made one, you'll be seeing these and hands, too, made out of all kinds of woods in our store.

Oh, the name? I designed them to be easy to hold in one hand and make left and right passes... all kinds of ergonomic, I think. So I bring 'em over and set them down in front of Jen, looking for praise or at least suggestions.

"Oh, cute!" she says. "little feet!"

But wait, there's more!

Seems as I finished more wood than I needed for just the feet, so I made a special edition Ozark TriLoom which went out today to a patient customer.

My old pappy always said " excuses are like..." um, well, chances are your old pappy said the same thing, or an acquaintance somewhere at any rate. The gist is that everyone has one and none of 'em smell sweet.

No excuses then. I screwed up. I got backlogged and a lot of folk are waiting to get their TriLooms or knitting needles or crochet hooks. No excuses.

But it didn't stop there. in the process of trying to get caught up I missed the renewal deadline for www.trilooms.com. This right when Jen was sending out ads all over the place. Makes me look like a bumbling fool and a bumbling fool I am... but it's a passing thing I hope hope hope.

No excuses, then. How about an apology? I'm sorry I dropped the ball.

Some assurances? I'm working me poor wee hiney off trying to get caught up (more than 17 sets of knitting needles, crochet hooks, and hair sticks carved yesterday) and Lena was kind and diligent enough to pre-sand all of the TriLooms in production (about 6 of 'em)  and the only reason I am able to pause long enough to write this short post is I am on terminal hold with the hosting company (yep... the same one) trying to get my domain name back.

Since I've written all of this while on hold, I think I want to rant a little here... you can click a link or close the browser window now unless you really want to read on. I promise it won't get foul.

Seems to me that the days of customer service are long gone. Why, oh, why would you program a computer to say "we appreciate your call" and "we know your time is important" when it so obviously isn't. How can they thank me for patience I no longer have... patience that I lost after holding for the first 20 minutes.

It's annoying, aggravating, and dishonest. Why offer 24/7 sales and support if you're only hiring one  narcoleptic person to man the phones most of the time?

I think we could improve customer service if we, the consumers, were allowed to charge for our time after a small space of time... say 20 minutes? After 20 minutes we should be able to charge minimum wage. If our time is as valuable as the pre-recorded message has told me for the past hour, then shouldn't they put their money where their mouth is?

But let's not stop there! If a clerk is rude, the company should pay a percentage of your order. If an order is not met, they should ship the remainder to you free of charge... I hate rainchecks - especially in the days of online, instantaneous computer inventory (our inventory is terrible and we know this, but as most items are custom made to order, it's hard to keep those items in stock... but that's another story), and long trips into town with $3/gallon fuel to pick up the orders. One recent order cost us four days of 120-mile round trips to fill... that's 480 miles... at 20 mpg that's 24 gallons or $72 worth of fuel. I could have almost bought the tools necessary to make the item I was ordering for that. Oh, and the manager of the store never even apologized... he had an excuse.

New post on a new blog?

Or is this a new post on an old blog?

It's not possible, is it, to have an old post on a new blog... I'm so confused...

What you're seeing here is a desperate attempt to keep afloat digitally. I'm putting redundancies everywhere. I'm only paranoid because they're out to get me.

Well, maybe that's taking it a bit too far, and maybe I should back up a bit. And, maybe i should have backed up a bit more... you'll see... read on.

Several days ago, we began to get complaints from friends, family and customers that their emails to us were bouncing. Usually, that means we have an account over limit... too many emails, too little storage space. I jog over, clear the virtual log jam and things start flowing.

There wasn't anything there.

Next step is to contact tech support. I am a geek and I know quite a bit, but I'm not gonna even try to hack my own service provider's server to get email back. Duh. After waiting in Live Chat limbo for abut an hour, the Tech support dude tells me there was a DNS cache problem. Cache cleared, problem solved. He said I would be getting emails again in a few hours.

I decide to write about this dilemma on my blog so folks know that I haven't fallen off the face of the Earth.

That's when I discovered I had fallen off the face of the Earth.

My website was gone. I don't mean down. I don't mean deleted. I mean no account, no files, no email, no domain name (just a nasty 404 error), no folders, no FTP, no blog, no pictures, no... well, you get the idea.

Naturally, I'm a bit concerned.

Off I go to contact tech support again. This time, after another hour long wait in limbo, I'm told the previous tech cleared the cache, but forgot to enable it again. Who knew? I'd be back online in a couple of hours.

A couple of hours go by and by now I've heard from several people with outstanding paid orders wanting to know what's going on. Wanting refund. Thinking I'm fly-by-night. But that's OK 'cause the website's gonna be up any minute now... any minute... just a few more seconds...

*sigh*

This time I attack from the front and the back. I call and log into live chat at the same time. Then I wait on hold and in chat limbo for 2 freakin' hours. I coulda watched a movie. I coulda carved a crochet hook or set of knitting needle or made a loom. I coulda taken on online course in underwater basket weaving. I coulda set up another blog service and started letting people know I was alive and well.

After that interminable, agonizing wait they said that it was a... can you guess... a DNS problem and it was solve and would be back up in a couple hours. Oh, yeah, and my case was escalated to tech support 2.0 or some such nonsense.

By this time, it's late... as in midnight. I've managed to spend more than 7 hours on hold. I've wasted an entire day.  I still don't have a website I am angry, but it's futile to sit at the computer and click refresh every 10 minutes to see if the tech support 2.0 people could do what tech support 1.0 could not.

I go to bed.

The next morning I awake and race through chores and breakfast on the farm and race to the shop to find that I still don't have a website. I log into chat again and I give the poor soul that answers a piece of my mind! I have to stop doing that as I'm running low on pieces... ouch.  I harangue the poor guy and harass and bully and type really loudly. But I'm proud of myself. I never curse and I never lose my cool. Not even when he says that the problem is solved and I should see results in a couple hours.

I then pointed out in calm terms that this was the same answer I had been given more than 36 hours ago and that the answer was no longer accepted and that he better get tech support 3.0 over to the terminal and get the problem fixed or he had better cut me a check for a refund and send me on my merry 'cause I was taking no more.

I admit it was a hollow threat. What does a large hosting firm care if one measly account quits. They have the contract and I have diddly. I mean, what could I do? What... write on as many bogs and forums that I could find that this hosting company is the pits? Word-of-mouth them to death? Yeah, right... as if... I'm just this one guy, y'know...

Sure felt good though and the website IS back up.

I just thought having a few copies of said website might not be a bad idea.

Oh, and I'm not going to badmouth the company here in public... these guys are trying, I'm sure. however, I'm not going to wish their slowly degrading into slime service on anyone. If you're considering getting hosting, let me know and I can steer you away from these bozos. If you have hosting you're happy with, let me know, too... It's time for a move.